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Memo
– Reminder on Phraseology
To: Task Force
HIEROPHANT, All Members
From: Pir-Q7811
After the incident
at REDACTED, it has come to my attention that the word “vampire”
has eight separate meanings in HIEROPHANT documents:
- VAMPIRE, a prehuman reptilian species formerly found on earth, known in DocInt as “Snake Men”
- HOMING PIGEON, plasma-based entities known in DocInt as “Fire Vampires”
- REDACTED
- VERBOSE RABBIT, semicorporeal entities known in DocInt as “Star Vampires”
- REDACTED
- REDACTED
- Vampire Squid, oceanic invertebrate formerly native to Earth, now extinct
- “Vampires' Lounge”, nickname for the Senior Officers' Canteen on Melanicus
This is not
acceptable, and it has had serious consequences. After receiving
reports that REDACTED was under attack by “vampires”, a rapid
response unit was deployed with specialized cryonic weapons,
expecting to face an infestation of HOMING PIGEON. In all
likelihood, we would not have been able to REDACTED even if the team
had been equipped with weaponry appropriate to REDACTED, but it
illustrates the vital importance of clarity in communication.
Obviously,
resolving this situation will not be simple. For the moment, I
suggest that we only refer to these entities by
their security phrases.
In addition, I have ordered the animatronic vampire removed from
the Senior Officers' Canteen. I don't yet have any good ideas for
what we should do about squids, besides always specifying that we are
referring to squids if/when we discuss them. I am convening a
subcommittee of the HIEROPHANT InfoCon Committee to discuss
longer-term measures, designated formally as the Security Phraseology
Clarification Subcommittee, and covered by security phrase DICTIONARY
ATTACK.
Incidentally, please
make note that “Fire Vampires” are no longer filed under the
security phrase FIRE VAMPIRE, and a certain someone who should know
better is now retaking the HIEROPHANT infocon training briefing.
Honestly, I expect this sort of behavior from a neophyte, but not
from a senior officer with millennia of experience and an Honors List
as long as my arm.
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